Words

There are words I wish
did not exist in human language
like words where we 
repeat lies told to us,
about us, told in such 
a way that they sound 
reasonable
dispassionate, 
even sensible

or the meaning behind them
not the words, but the way
they crawl in our liver
and make a woman feel
little, feel like shit, like nothing
when she's somebody
important and larger
than the world can contain

I hate those kinds of words
that work juju on tender nerves
make the past stand up and mock
a woman like she deserves it
like she ain't paid for it
over and over in her sleep
in her scrubbing toilets
and emptying bedpans
in her listening to old
white women call her
nigger like this is the right
word for her and always was

I hate the words that make
you wish you knew the language
of Saturn, those kinds of words 
like you making too much
out of nothing, like why can't you
just appreciate what you
got, why you gotta complain
like who cares that you wanna be
cherished, want moans and 
screams and "baby, yes!" 
like it's not what lovers want, 
like quiet is the way we do "it," 
all of "it" and the sex part is just
the part that gets left
out of it

I hate words that make a woman
believe that she's not enough 
like she's doing too much 
or she doesn't deserve 
what she thinks she does 
words like really, bitch? 
who you think you are, 
anyway?

© Valerie Bridgeman

January 28, 2013