ONLY I CAN

I'm down to the part that only I can do
papers that need sorting/shredding
old letters and faded notes from people
I barely remember
business cards from people
I've never done business with
and won't because we have
no business between us
tissues and expired medicine bottles
empty viles of god knows what

blank journals and some so full
of words they ooze like
sores barely scabbed over
nail polish I have never used
lipstick colors I would never wear
misplaced keys now in view
mocking my long past need of them
jewelry bought because it is cute
worked with some dress but
never worn--Goodwill bound
with the shoes that were just as cute
and just as not worn

and why do I have so many
brushes and hair oil with
mango and tea tree and
cocoa butter and perfume
I've been allergic to for years
where were these pictures
with worn edges and faded
faces and stories of Labor Day
barbecue and dominoes
pinochle and spades
and the music bumping
in the background as 
laughter spilled over the rooms

and these clothes I can no longer
wear and shouldn't even if I could
since they are from another 
era/some part of a life now gone
I've enter my third life now
and these pants this dress
have nothing to do with my present
But only I can know these things
as I sort and throw things away
Only I can make decisions
of go and stay
except for the decisions
made for me that I just
have to accept

© Valerie Bridgeman
April 11, 2013