A POEM FOR MAMA: I'M NOT STUPID

I found a poem (in a journal) that I wrote after something my mother said. She was in the throes of Alzheimer's Hell. I wish I knew what prompted her to say, "I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid"... 2001 (she wasn't crazy either).

She knows her brain misfires

like bad pistons in an engine

that needs retooling

She catches herself pressing

forward in mental motion

to recall words she hears

in her head, but cannot for all

her trying summon to her tongue

She reminds herself that this story

has already been told, then 

repeats it anyway

She is so aware that her

good sense betrays her

is insulted by her own
stammering by what she
calls her baby babbling

She despises the blank start

induced by too-strong doses,

narcotics dull her mind

to keep her from the persistent

shaking, precursor to fall

But she'd rather have her mind

the wit, well-framed retorts

and take her chances

at a broken hip

©  Valerie Bridgeman

June 11, 2001, edited 
POSTED April 3, 2013