APRIL'S FOOL

It'll be like that
you think you figure someone 
something out and something'll happen 
and you'll learn you were dead wrong 
couldn't be more wrong if you tried 
and you'll look yourself in the mirror
and search your own face to try to figure out
how you could have missed it 
could have been so gullible 
so easily fooled 
so big a fool
you'll think back over conversations
and parse words try to remember 
inflection of voice 
the way the body turned 
either toward or away from you 
the details that seemed insignificant at the time
 but now makes you wonder if they were code 
for some secret knowledge
and you just were not paying attention

and you begin to question your own intelligence 
your observation skills your wisdom
your good sense, begin to wonder if 
you looked downright stupid 
moved to fool's hill
and lost your way home
because you think a wise person 
would have known how wrong you were
about whatever it is 

(see how generic 'wrong' can be)

and a smart person would question everything
question everybody 
be cautious if not downright suspicious
but you think back about how much you trusted
you and them and it and love 
and love became the barometer
you never expected the way life upends trust 
and you draw back from those who draw back from you 
because you think they may be right 
you really could be stupid
and that could be an infectious disease 

you wonder why you didn't draw back 
from their disdain for who  you are
why you kept showing up to be abused 
in the name of love 
of family of friendship of business
whatever kept drawing you back to be a fool 
to play the fool to act the fool 
you wonder whether its inevitable
whether fate always lead you to fool's avenue
and no matter how much you resist
every April comes and you're 
still playing the fool

© Valerie Bridgeman
April 1, 2013