KICKSTART

You will ask me one day
what took me so long 
to recognize my own worth
how it was that I let so many
other people define my life
why I worked myself to the bones
to be acceptable and normal
only to find out that I was neither
 accepted nor normal

You will want to know how
my dreams lay asleep on 
desktops while I labored
over another's hopes and how it
was that I considered
my own pursuits trivial
or why I listened to naysayers
and agreed with them
to my own harm

You will wonder whether
I gave up too soon or
why I never started, how 
fear taunted me and called
me names, and made 
me stop in my tracks
why I didn't just backtalk
and claim my own voice

You will ask me if I know 
what I could be, could have been
if I had not given over to
a world splashed in gray
why I didn't just pull the colors
out and paint outside the lines
why I gave up painting
altogether to be responsible

You will tell me that
responsible is overrated
that gray is not really a color
that fear is a bully and if
I just take one friend with me
it will back down
that my pursuits deserve
me, that I should awaken
from dreaming and put
on my shoes and start
walking, one step two step
dancing if necessary
that normal is a tyrant
and acceptable is a lie
and that it's not too late
to kickstart my real life

© Valerie Bridgeman
April 24, 2013