ANNIVERSARY

For my first D.A.D.

Today would have been 34 years
had we been able to keep covenant

we stopped 5 years ago, but really
I think we stopped and started
many times over the years. 

I honor the years,
the making a home, the raising children,
the leading a congregation, the fights,
the disappointments, the long conversations
about sports and politics, about religion
and sex

I honor that we knew one another
that we know each other; that you hold
a part of my history--30 years of it, really
29 of it married. So much went wrong
but if we tell the truth, so much
went right too. 

I don't want the end of it make me 
rewrite the "right" of it. 

If nothing else, I walked away
with some great family, sisters and brothers
nieces and nephews who continue
to love me and I them. 

And you seem--finally--content with who you are,
not torn on the inside. I'm glad
for you about that. So happy
anniversary of the day we said
"forever" even if we couldn't keep
the promise. 

I would lie if I said I
have no regrets... I have plenty.
But leaving isn't one of them--
not because I don't love you
or didn't: I do, honestly.
But it was the end of a thing
that were in the throes
of becoming bitter instead
of better. 

We both deserved
better than that. And so we
chose love... leaving being
the best sign of it.
I love you today. I wish you
all the best. I pray for you
constantly. I hope you do the same
for me. 

© Valerie Bridgeman
June 28, 2013