AN AMAZING LIFE

Compliments make me stammer
I feel the fraud, the "not enough" 
in them, the way people smile
and say thank you often makes me
want to say: "you're wrong. you don't know me."

But I am ME. Enough. The answer
to a million prayers, the song
my grandmothers sang into the world
I am called in this season with these gifts
for these purposes, my breath is the wind
of Spirit rising over lives waiting for
my yes and my work, for the miracle
of my coming and bringing my full self
into the world, bringing it cracked
open and available, willing even
when unable

I am responsible for the carry of my neck
hold my head high in the sphere of
influence and responsibility that
bears my name, marks a territory
only I can plant and harvest

overlap some lands where journey
is never alone, always in twos
or threes or companies of saints
and sinners who hear the sound
of something happening like
waters coming, like thunder rolling
like lightning announcing the
next cleansing rain

I make comparisons only because
I'm human and we know ourselves
by the mirrors around us, the eyes
that look on us, the bodies that fold
themselves around us and sigh

and still we can feel "not enough"
and "fraud" when we are plenty
and growing, with work before us
stories to tell, journey to make
with amazing people (and all the people
are amazing), adventures unfold

the best is in front of us because it is
in front of us, grab it, even trembling
be deliberate
be faithful
ask for help
be available to G*d
and this great big world
travel light
practice simplicity
let go of perfectionism
don't covet your neighbor's life

you have a pretty amazing life
of your own if you will
just live it

© Valerie Bridgeman

March 11, 2013

Based on a post I did on Facebook this day:

Sometimes when I am being complimented for the work I do in the earth--for the way I love people, for the way I teach, for being encouraging, for training, for whatever--sometimes (most times) I say some asinine thing like, "I'm no (pick your favorite shero/hero and insert here)." This morning as I was praying for myself (something I've rarely done over the years [pray for myself]), Spirit challenged my thinking. Of course you're no _______________; you are "You." Uniquely so. Called in your season with your gifts for these purposes. You have a sphere of influence and responsibility that may overlap some of the people to whom you compare yourself, but it is still different influence and responsibility. I could say "stop comparing yourself," but you're human and the more you try not to do it, the more you will find yourself doing it and feeling like "not enough" and a fraud. But you're not a fraud. You're you. And plenty enough. With the growing you still need to do; with the work in front of you; with the stories to tell and the journey to make. You journey with amazing people (and ALL the people are amazing). The adventures are unfolding. The best IS in front of you, only because it is in front of you. Grasp it, even if you're afraid (and I am). Be deliberate. Be faithful. Ask for help. Make yourself available to G*d and this great big world. Travel light. Return to the discipline of simplicity. And the discipline of letting go of perfectionism. Don't covet your neighbor's life. You have a pretty amazing one if you will just live it. #thatisall