Friday, July 26, 2013

CONTRADICTORY

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large -- I contain multitudes.”  ― Walt Whitman

I am multitudinous
tonight, wanting to be singular
but even in this desire I know
my want is false
what I really desire
is to make sense of mangled
emotions that feel all kinds 
of ways toward you, toward
my life, toward the way
the day never goes the way
I plan, and how that is
always on me and no one else
how my heart is tangled
like wires too entwined 
to separate with any ease
how I don't remember what
easy feels like anymore
how comfortable I was
in the trap of my life and how
now that I'm free
I hyperventilate some days
I didn't know I'd gotten used
to slavery or that I had come
to expect it to feed me
bread of affliction/meat
of disdain and how I had
come to call it nourishment

© Valerie Bridgeman
July 26, 2013

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