Ten Thoughts On Being a Mentor

On Being a Mentor:

If you saw my list, "Ten Thoughts On Being Mentored," you will recognize some of these suggestions. The truth is mentoring and being mentored take some of the same characteristics.

Most mentees worth their weight in gold or salt are maturing. That means they don't have time to sit around  24/7 and wait to hear from their mentor. And if they do have that kind of time, they're not worth their weight in salt or gold. Tips on being a mentor to them:

1. Don't promise what you can't deliver
2. Don't flatter yourself. You cannot effectively mentor numerous people "up close;" there are not enough hours in the day or days in the week. 
3. Don't seek to make  a "mini-me." That's just annoying. Your role is to try to pull the best out of the person with whom you have relationship... their best, not your unfulfilled dreams...
4. Listen intently to what the mentee really needs as opposed to what you believe they need. And own up to it if you are not capable of meeting a need. That's not really your job, anyway. You are a companion, not God.
5. Pray for them and seek their highest good.
6. Don't offer unsolicited advice; sometimes the best thing for a person is to learn to hear their inner source in silence. If advice is solicited, be discerning as to whether you are stifling their own abilitiy to struggle. Your silence may be the best gift you give.
7. If you're too busy, reassess your ability to effectively come alongside a person. Be honest with yourself. And be willing to bless people to another mentor instead of stringing them along.
8. Be clear about what your role is, about how and in what capacity you are their mentor. It is impossible to be "all things" to a person; stop trying.
9. Allow people to come along side you. Don't be such a mystery that they can't learn from observing your life. If all the information you have to share requires a secret code, you're not ready to be anyone's mentor.
10. Be interested in life: theirs, yours, life in general... consider the ant... and learn from it... be a learner and mentoring will happen in the flow of your life.

© Valerie Bridgeman

February 10, 2013