IF I WERE BRAVE

If I were brave
in this moment
I would tell you that it's toxic
that it makes you crazy
because it's crazy-making
and that you deserve
so much better
so much more
but that would mean
you might believe
I wasn't being
supportive of what
you care about
though I am

If I were courageous
I'd tell you that
you have sold yourself
short, that Love 
was never meant
to be this painful
that people who love
us don't make
us feel small
don't judge us
harshly
make us
hold our breaths
waiting on the
hammer to
fall

If I were brave
I'd tell you to leave
to take your heart
and make it home to you 
to protect yourself
I'd tell you that
your senses
are warped
by a little girl's
memories
who has
always tried to
make everyone
else ok

If I were a good friend
I'd risk losing our bond
to tell you the truth

I want you whole
with or without me
I'd hope  you'd know 
that I'm not pulling
for anyone

but you

© Valerie Bridgeman

February 23, 2013