Loving loving

love pours out, breaks through my skin
I have porous places seeping/leaking
into your life
because you called me here
and, like rain finds
cracked ground to water
and fill with hope,
I am running to you/
filling spaces you've
left for me/carved
my name, said, "this crevice will do"

I am in love in all the right
ways and reasons/
shaking my fear free from
yesterday's chains,
refusing to hold you accountable
for someone else's inflicted pain

I am no longer running
from the possibility
that love is healing
even in the face of missteps/
mistakes and failed opportunities
to grow, to stretch
to be in tune with the
rushing waters
of my own heart

I am wide-open flayed
bleeding love back
to you

© Valerie Bridgeman
August 4, 2011

Hand on Belly

She always knew
how to soothe me sleep
after nightmares
and stomach aches

often with catnip tea
or some other
honey-coated concoction
easy on the throat

she knew the worth
of a hand on belly
easing the pain
heightened by fear

she knew the gift
of a well-placed palm
skin and memory
easy, caressed
belly in hand


© Valerie Bridgeman
August 6, 2011

In the Spirit

There are times
I find myself
Swaying from side to side,
Moving in rhythm to
A song in my mind,
A song only I can hear,
A song that’s reverberating:
I’m smiling, dancing, daydreaming.
I find myself keeping the beat
With genuine joy,
Even with hell flying
All over my head,
Bills piling high,
And work I don’t want to do.
Moving and keeping time,
Keeping faith,
A celebration is going on
In my soul.

I turn my ear and heart upward,
Get the sway and swagger
Going on from side to side:
Life just needs to be dance to
Sometimes.

In the spirit of hope.

A hope that things
May be down,
But I’m not out;
Life comes in cycles,
Tides, ups, downs,
However you fathom
The way things work.
The song changes
From time to time,
The swing and mood of life
Can be whimsical.
Tides do turn.
Fortunes do reverse.
But if you’re always underneath
The rough reverb,
You’ll miss the beat of hope
In the music,
Even when it’s loud,
Full of love,
And people are actually
Speaking to you on the streets,
Waving hellos
As if they know you.

Those are the times
You’ve just got to stop yourself
From whining,
So you can hear the baseline,
The undercurrent of jokester joy,
That playful melody that says
You’re taking yourself
And life way too seriously.
Smile! Dance! Daydream!

Turn your ear and heart upward,
Get the sway and swagger
Going on from side to side:
Life just needs to be dances to
Sometimes.

In the spirit of love!

A love so rich, so electric
I have to step back
And watch the fireworks!
It’s basic stuff: you get burned
If you get too close.
If you find the right distance,
It’ll warm you thru and thru;
People will know you’re in love.
The spirit of living
Will be your guide.

Pain, it’s a part of the equation,
But, honey,
It ain’t all the equation;
It ain’t even the biggest or lowest
Common denominator:
It’s just a small factor
In the loving.

You have to trust
The steps to the dance,
Swing your partner,
Change only when the pain
Is not teaching the love
Or the divine
Is not leading the orchestra.
You’ll know!  You’ll know!
Smile! Dance! Daydream!

Turn your ear and heart upward,
Get the sway and swagger
Going on from side to side:
Life just needs to be danced to
Sometimes

In the spirit of celebration!

© Valerie Bridgeman
circa May 1999

On Discovery

For a dear friend; your love feeds me

You said, “You’re beautiful”
And my body opened toward your words
Like morning glories toward the sun
Your words pulled me away
From the campfire where ugliness
Had begun to reflect on me, leave me
Shriveled and stunted in life and in love

On discovery: I am freefalling like skydiving
Into love’s gravity, the beauty of it
Pulling me closer, farther
‘In love, in place, in season, in here”
Changing the very nature of
Space because I share it with Love

On discovery: I know how large the human heart can be—
What capacity for hate, for envy, for fear, for hubris
And for love, for joy, for hope, for strength
I am learning what it takes to feed the inner
Self so as to lessen the power of the first list
In order for the second list to increase

I know how capable the heart is
Of massive love strokes
How willing to share—if invited;
When healed, how generous
the heart can be

On discovery: you were expected, long awaited
Like the sure return of Halley’s Comet
You have entered my atmosphere
Leaving a trailing witness of
Cosmic fire across this sky
A blaze that landed
Burned a hole in the stratospheric
Graces of my heart, leaving it
Gaping, enlarged


© Valerie Bridgeman
October 1, 2011

Unfinished Poem

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Unfinished Poem

Today, I am the poem I finally have the courage to finish/each line more interesting than the next. (Joe Brundidge)

(this 2^nd poem is a re-write/edit of the first one inspired by the lines (above) off the post on Joe Brundidge’s page, December 8, 2011, and uses the lines as a prompt into the poem)

Courage has finally found me

On mark/get set/ready on the line

Stretching to finish a poem

I am becoming

Each line more interesting than the next

None more important than the last

In this rhythmic moment

I am verse/ink-filled method

And madness/water tumbling

Over rough places

Sounds thundering over

Smoothed out similes

I am metaphor

Sunshine bright/sharp light

Breaking into dark spaces

Pushing myself to see

This world for all its worth

I am an uneven line of rhythm

No rhyme—an underscore

And exclamation point

Syncopated beauty, chaotic

Italicized truth

—Life turns on a dime and still I see your face in every cloud—

I am an emphatic mess of an ode

a range of meanings

a double entendre

triple indemnity/your best bet

strong verb modified intensity

a ‘what did she say’ glance backward

question mark in the middle

of a sentence not yet written

worth reading more than once

words worth rolling over tongue

spoken out loud in the rain

screamed in delight in every season

and I am the poem I finally have the courage

to finish—on mark/get set/ready…

© Valerie Bridgeman

Taking Back My Yesterdays

One of the best ways to remember you're a poet and to provoke the muse within, is to read those initial pieces that made other people say, "hey! You're a POET!!!" This piece is one of those for me and 15 years later, I feel provoked. These thoughts were provoked by Jaha Zainabu, one of my FAVORITE poets.

Taking Back My Yesterdays

I am no longer innocent

But I am not guilty of the wrong

You’ve done to me

The sacred shadows of yesterday

Rise like specters of injustice

Like Banshee, they sound an alarm

Meant to cower me,

But I will not.

Cower as others may,

I am not captive to your forever-sins,

Nor victim of your momentary whims

I am colorizing my memories,

Sanctifying them for my future.

Stubbornness has taken hold of me

And I am staring down the sorrow,

Factoring in the pain,

And becoming Today and Tomorrow Strong.

The non-memories I have blocked,

I am filling with faith in a God

Who moves forward and leads

I want to take my medicine bag—

Those healing stones

That helped me survive your cruelty

I will need them

In the not-too-far successes

I will encounter

You may not keep them.

And my tears are reserved

In a heavenly bottle numbered by Wisdom.

They belong to me again,

And are on account

Testifying against you.

You may no longer name yourself

My judge or my destiny.

All you stole, I now reclaim with force.

The violence you used against me—

That whirlwind that wrecked my life—

Well, I’ve learned to harness winds and thunder.

The violence, I have turned to my own power.

And yes, I am here to take everything you kept:

Pieces of my soul,

Parts of my heart,

And my destiny.

The future is ahead, and I need them.

I am taking back my yesterdays

© Valerie J. Bridgeman [Davis]

1997
Written at the request of my friend Linda H. Hollies, who used it as the title of her book
Taking Back My Yesterdays 

Beauty Deeper than Scar

(Follow the link over Dr. Weems' name to learn about this incredible scholar-wise-woman-survivor-thriver)

For Dr. Renita Weems

Camouflaged by quick wit and wise sayings

Clothed in tears powered by anger—

You were never supposed to suffer

Smart as you are…

You lead with your mind—

Do not confuse this reality with the knowledge

That we who love you know:

Your nimble genius works in Amazon body/

Sharpshooter skilled tongue

Made sharper through the years

Woman/warrior, battles carved signs

On limbs/torso/organs that have borne wounds more ragged

Than some/you have knife-lined consequences

That scar—harbinger of wounds so much

More than cancer/cut deep/run more ragged

Than blunt-edged knife

And yet the years have folded over on to weary bones/

Marking the way the body betrays even the most

Brilliant among us/your breasts, too, weeping

From the folly of it all

Everyone who has ever had to come

By way of razor’s edge needs a witness/

Offer the scapel-lined path to lover’s eyes/

Needs beloved friend’s fingers to run tenderly along

keloid ridges of war theaters/

the body beautiful its staging area

No one fights nonstop

You get to pause/remember your mind

Just as beautiful needs your body/

Battled scarred as it is

You have a beauty deeper than any scar

In skin/bone/soul/a beauty that shines

Through cracks/strains/breaches—

And this scar that invades your body

Will ease its way

Into a beautiful place

© Valerie Bridgeman 

September 17, 2011

FINAL