DECISIONS

They have to be made
you can't hold off forever
and not making a decision
is a decision
just so you know


Valerie Bridgeman
© August 14, 2013

DON'T WORRY MY MAMA SAYS

Don't worry
Mama words
I let them soak in
hope I take them
into my body
and they lodge
there
Don't worry
we will get 
through this
you will be
taken care of
no matter what
even if you don't know
where it will come
from it will come
Baba will not let
his daughter down
"If you ever think
you can't live without
something, call me
and I'll tell you how"
(your words come 
back in this "don't worry"
moment)
If you ever think...

Valerie Bridgeman
© August 13, 2013

DOES THAT TELL YOU ANYTHING

I left a tenured position

Black Woman

Tenured

In an American

Institution of

Higher Education

I left without another job

To which to go

Does that tell

You anything

About toxicity

About racism

About sexism

About being the “only one”

In 2013 at a “liberal”

Institution

I left of my own free will

I couldn’t have

Another hive outbreak

Another breakthrough migraine

Another panic attack

Another asthma attack

Waiting to enter a classroom

With no support

Accused of knowing nothing

After years of study

Years of being questioned

By students, arrogant, nasty

Wondering whether my degree

Amounted to anything

I left, with no job

To save my life

If I could

Prepared to flip

Hamburgers

Or live under a bridge

Anything but teach

And, I love to teach

Does that tell you

Anything?

Valerie Bridgeman

© August 12, 2013

TRYING

I watch from a distance
feel the disconnect 
and know that it is only
a matter of time before
this ship shatters,
falls apart. You're trying.
I can see it. I know you mean
well. But sometimes
people are just
not willing to know
and do the truth
are not wanting
change even if
its a good thing for them
they want the worse
so they can feel
good about their
small lives...
they want others to be
as small as they are
I can see you trying
to make them believe
something else is
possible, something
else is at work
and I can see 
fear coil around
those who cannot
for the life of 
them breathe
but I see you
trying to get
an oxygen mask
on them
one by one

I can see you trying.

© Valerie Bridgeman
August 11, 2013

ONLY WAY

The only way to complete
a task, to do the deed
you set for yourself, to succeed
at a thing is to keep doing
it... one day, one moment
one decision at a time
carry the load
as light as you can
work against 
your own disbelief
act as if it will
be all right
even when you
can't imagine
another world
walk into
the new one
like through
a wall that opens
right as you almost
bang your head against
it... just do the deed
whether you see
where this 
will lead
or not

© Valerie Bridgeman
August 10, 2013

STAY

Stay alive
I have nothing else
just... stay
alive
I can't give you
any good reason
just... alive
stay
please

© Valerie Bridgeman
August 9, 2013

COMFORT

I had words
but they were stuck
in my throat
as your tears
were once
again
bread in your
belly

I wish I knew
how to comfort
you

© Valerie Bridgeman
August 8, 2013