GUANXI

(N): A network of social connections based on mutual trust and the balancing of debts by returning favors so that the relationship's benefits are shared by all. (Pronounced: guan-'shi)

It was our running joke
"I owe her my life," one of us would say.
"I just hope you don't ask for the payment
in a lump sum," the other would counter.
And we'd laugh at the notion of life
being in a balance, teetering between
the debt and grace of forgiving what
was owed so that neither of us ever
really felt beholden to the other. I mean,
what was it to buy a Jack's hamburger
for 99 cents or a bar of candy from
the school's vending machine. We were
athletes and needed our energy, and
money was just the paper passed back
and forth between us: sometimes I had
it; sometimes you did, but we never
went without and that was the point.
Guanxi the Chinese would call it:
that life of trust, mutual and precarious
but always balanced enough to
benefit us all. We returned favors
like badminton birdies. We were
good athletes, after all. And even
if the birdie dropped, it was of no
deep regret because missed opportunities
never cost us each other. There were
the rides, first on bicycles, later on
motorcycles and later still in cars.
I never had a motorcycle, but you
didn't let that stop you from giving
me a ride. You knew, somehow, 
I'd figure out how to pay you back
in advice, or clothes, or secrets
told under makeshift livingroom
tents with flashlight beams staring
in our faces. I was good for a 
story, if nothing else. By the time
the car ride came around, I was
the most reliable. You never 
knew if your mother was feeling
any way generous with her
Impala; I could sweet talk my mama
out of the keys to her Chevy with little effort
and a full tank of gas on return. That is
the way it works, trust and 
connection and the making
of improbable bonds and 
unbreakable friendships.
(I don't know where you are, now.
But I'm pretty sure, we've gotten
Guanxi down).

© Valerie Bridgeman
November 4, 2013